Latest News
May 01, 2013
Tessera's "VTMB Mega-Mod" is no longer available to the public...
due to a
blatant and ongoing incident of theft. A full explanation of Tessera's decision
to permanently withdraw the VTMB Mega-Mod can be found
here.
Screenshot Of The Month
ABOVE: Tessera's latest upgrade for VTMB Mega-Mod users. This sexy new
version of the
female Malkavian employs greatly improved textures... including fully-functional
specular
and normal (bump) mapping. More details can be found on our Forums (members
only).
UPDATE: THE VTMB MEGA-MOD IS NO LONGER BEING OFFERED
TO THE PUBLIC.
Tired Of The Pre-Paid "Payola" Reviews That You See On Every Single
Commercial
Gaming Site..? Then Here Are Tessera's Latest "Short And Sweet" Game Reviews:
- Dragon Age 2: it's an obvious rush
job... an attempt to cash in quick on a franchise that
was pretty weak to begin with. Avoid this game... it's just more formulaic
garbage which
was obviously designed to suck in the fanboys and steal their money. Pure
swill.
- TES: Skyrim: nearly un-playable on a
PC, this crappy console-to-PC port doesn't even
look as good as its predecessor Oblivion did SIX YEARS AGO. The engine is
the same
as the one used for Fallout 3... which means that it's ugly and wonky as
hell. Total crap,
that only the most rabid fanboys could possibly love. Everyone else should
avoid Skyrim,
or else try to get yourself a free copy from TPB if you are THAT determined to play
it.
- Civilization 5: is without a doubt
the weakest entry into the Civilization franchise.
Gameplay is tedious and repetitive. Diplomacy is downright worthless. Your
rivals
regularly behave like psychotics, thanks to the sloppily written AI.
It's graphics engine
crashes constantly, even after being patched. TIP: turn
off your
anti-aliasing before you
launch this buggy and irresponsibly produced game. It's
the best
way to keep it from
glitching out. Why people pay money for garbage like
this I will
never understand.
Especially when The Pirate Bay (TPB) exists... know what I
mean..? I thought so.
- World Of Warcraft: what started out
as a fairly decent MMO in 2004 has since devolved
into a horribly cheap and vapid game for babies. Ever since ActiVision took
over Blizzard,
everything has been going straight into the shitter. The most recent
expansion for WoW
has totally undermined everything that was decent about that game...
leaving us with
nothing but weak content, a ruined game world, and a bunch of overpowered
gear for
WoW's dominant community of "gimmee! gimmee! gimmee! now! now! now!"
children.
The good news is that there are plenty of PRIVATE WoW servers out there, and
most
of them have removed a lot of the later kiddie-kontent and restored WoW to
its earlier,
less childish incarnation. So if you wanna play WoW these days, then my
advice is to
look around for a good
emulated server... and stop giving Blizzard your
money.
- Age Of Conan: I had high hopes for
this game, back when it was still in its beta phase.
But after its release, Funcom decided to sabotage any attempts at fan-made
mods which,
in turn, angered the community so severely that a huge number of AoC's
original players
quit the game altogether and canceled their subs. Funcom is so desperate to
keep this
overly-censored bore-fest afloat, that they've been offering people free
gameplay deals
for the past two years. Do yourselves a favor... and just tell Funcom to
go blow goats.
Best way to describe AoC: it's like playing WoW, with tits. Don't waste your
time.
- Vampire -- The Masquerade: Bloodlines:
still one of my top five favorite PC-RPG's
of all time... and for very good reason: it's a mature game, designed for
intelligent
and imaginative players. Although released in a hopelessly buggy state, the
existence
of the True Patch Gold Edition has eliminated all of those problems once and
for all,
and without making any arbitrary and unnecessary changes to the quests, the
items,
or the gameplay mechanics. And if you also install my adults-only VTMB
Mega-Mod,
then the entertainment and replay-ability factors rise even higher. VTMB is
definitely
very high on my list of recommended RPG's. Once it has been properly patched
with
the True Patch Gold Edition, it's a real gem of a game and guaranteed to
please just
about everyone whose IQ is bigger than their shoe size. For mature
players only.
Join Our Forums..!!!
NOTE: You must add your correct age and
gender to your Forum profile, immediately after joining!
The tessmage.com Forums
are open to all adults who are looking for a 100% uncensored
environment in which to play. We talk about everything on our board... not just
games.
You'll find literally thousands of subjects -- on everything from gaming,
current events,
politics, humor, sex and romance, and just about every politically INCORRECT
theme
that you can imagine. And of course, you'll also find tons of
information and images
regarding Tessera's mods, the True Patch, original works of art,
technical subjects,
various tips and tricks, fan fiction... you name it, and it's probably in there
somewhere.
Note that the majority of our Forums are invisible to unregistered guests. But
once
you join us, the rest of our board will magically open up to you. Give
it a try..!!!
