Let's All Do Something Nice For Donald Trump

[Tessera]

Let's All Do Something Nice For Donald Trump

I just thought of the perfect Christmas gift for Donald Trump... and I think we should all chip in and get this for him.

How about a beautiful pair of Gucci handcuffs..? I know it's important to Donny that he have the very best of the best, so check these out...



Aren't those lovely..? Made from the finest high-tensile steel, expertly plated in genuine 24-karat gold, polished to a beautiful shine, and lovingly monogrammed "D T" using austere and dignified laser-etched Old English lettering. Made by Gucci in Italy, these expertly crafted and individually produced handcuffs are clearly designed with the discerning gentleman in mind. Yes, they cost a lot more -- but isn't Donny worth it..? No one has ever had handcuffs as gorgeous as these before, and hey -- we know how important style-over-substance is to Donny. Just think of how commanding and impressive Donny will look, as they lead him into court wearing these elegant and personalized handcuffs. Absolutely divine..!!!

Maybe we could launch a Kickstarter campaign or something and collect the necessary funds. Naturally, handcuffs as special as these don't come cheap... but we want Donny to have the very best. Whattya say..?

[Cylnar]

We can pay for it by taxing the rich.

[Tessera]

You wanna laugh..? Gucci actually does make handcuffs.   

No doubt for really kinky rich folks to enjoy together in the bedroom. Seriously... Gucci handcuffs really do exist. I kid you not.

Back to Donny...

I think Trump should be arrested, tried, convicted and then sentenced to having obese Sarah Huckabee repeatedly dropped on top of him, until he's been squashed to death.




Ouch...

[Tessera]

But wait a minute...


Please... let's stop being so mean to Donald Trump. The poor man... he's been through such a terrible ordeal. Surely, we can forgive and forget..?

Oh shit...

Okay... I tried it and I just threw up in my mouth a little. Please disregard my last outburst. Lock him up.

[Tessera]

Back when Trump was in his first month in office, I predicted that he wouldn't even make it through his first term. I didn't just predict it here -- I predicted it to just about everyone that I know personally, too. Some of them said I was crazy.

This past week has seen a number of Trump's buddies turn against him. Michael Cohen was just the tip of the iceberg... in the past couple of days, several more have jumped ship and made immunity deals, in exchange for cooperating with the feds. I won't go into the details, because those details are plastered all over the news and we keep hearing more and more every day.

Basically, it looks like my prediction is coming true a lot sooner than I had expected it to. So now I have an updated prediction:

I believe that Donald Trump will resign soon. He'll resign for several reasons:

(1) So he can later claim that resigning was his own decision. Just think about Trump's ego and his narcissism for a moment. It has to be HIS choice to leave the White House. And he'll blame his subordinates.
(2) He'll resign in order to protect his own children from harm. At least, that's what he'll tell himself. Personally, I think his kids are gonna get nailed when New York State investigates The Trump Foundation. 
(3) He'll resign for the same reason that Richard Nixon did, back in 1974. Trump resigns in order to avoid impeachment, and then Mike Pence gives him a pardon. Trump will still face lawsuits and indictments from individual states, but at least he gets to escape The Big One... which is the accusation that he committed treason by colluding with the Russians. That's one of the worst federal crimes that you can commit in this country. We used to give people the death penalty for that. Now it's just life in prison. But Mike Pence would have the power to pardon Trump, being that it would indeed be a federal matter.

I suppose it's possible that Trump might actually try to stay where he is until the November elections... but at this rate, I doubt that he can last that long. The elections are still more than two months away and the man is already visibly falling apart. Seriously, if things get much worse for Trump, then they're gonna need to put him on a suicide watch or something. Shit... along with all of the legal heat building under Trump's ass, there's also a rumor that his wife Melania is planning to divorce him as soon as he's out of office. The man's life is totally falling apart.

One way or another, I can't see how it would be possible for Trump to remain president for much longer. Right now, he stands on the verge of being accused of so many high crimes that at best he would spend the next 300 years in prison. Meaning... the rest of his life. This is why I think he'll resign before all of that goes down. Then he'll probably skip out of the country and go live with Vladimir Putin.

Buh bye, baby Donald -- you fucking vicious piece of shit. Somebody get those Gucci handcuffs ready. Polish them up nice and shiny... because Donny deserves the very best.

[Tessera]

Here's something that I've been posting on YouTube (mostly under Fox News videos), directed at Trump's supporters:


"As of October 2017, Gallup polling found that 31% of Americans identified as Democrat, 24% identified as Republican, and 42% as Independent. Additionally, polling showed that 46% are either "Democrats or Democratic leaners" and 39% are either "Republicans or Republican leaners'" when Independents are asked "'do you lean more to the Democratic Party, or the Republican Party?'"

That quote is taken straight from Gallup. And before some homunculus says "Polls don't matter," oh yes... yes they do, because they sway public opinion. Polls are also indicative of trends.

I have no doubt that there are many fine, decent people on the right. Of course there are. But in this day and age, the right-wing has been usurped by a much larger number of simple-minded Neanderthals, who wish for America to be a violent country. They get off on it -- it makes them feel powerful. This is why MILLIONS of decent people have defected from the Republican party in recent years and have re-registered as Independents. So you see, it isn't a matter of propaganda, folks. It's pure science. It is easy to predict that in another 10 years at this rate, there won't be any such thing as the Republican party. Thanks to Trump, they will probably die an even quicker death than that. But I understand how most of you must feel. You voted for Trump, you got duped, and now you feel ashamed. But instead of owning your shame, you're twisting it into anger instead. Blindly lashing out, like a wounded animal backed into a corner. You all need to understand that nothing you say or do will make any difference. Donald Trump is going to be removed from office soon. That's final.

[Tessera]

IMPEACH BABY TRUMP..!!!

[Tessera]

I would like to urge all conscientious Americans to buy this book, when it gets released on September 11...




Previews of Bob Woodward's new book have already set off an avalanche in Washington. When that book hits the book stores in a couple of weeks, I think we can expect to see Trump's approval rating drop to 25% or less. Trump's days are numbered, folks. It's not a matter of "if" now... it's a matter of "when." Just as it was for Richard Nixon, back in 1974.

Somewhere on this board, there's a post that I made back when Trump was first elected (or shortly thereafter) and in that post, I predicted that Trump wouldn't make it through his first term. If anyone feels like searching for that post, then be my guest... I can't remember which topic I posted it in. I based that prediction on my belief that Trump is a malignant narcissist and a criminal... but I gotta say, I don't have a crystal ball and I had no idea that things would unfold in quite the way that they have. This is unquestionably the most insane presidency in American history... it has become so volatile and bizarre that I worry about Trump's deteriorating mental state. This is the guy who can push a button and start WWIII if he wants to... so it's time for everyone to sit up and pay attention.

[Tessera]

I had a conversation today with an old friend, and we came to what I hope will be an optimistic conclusion...

We were discussing the worst-case scenario -- namely, what if Trump gets away with all of this shit and then actually gets elected to a second term..?

I won't go into a long list of particulars... I mean, jeezis, our conversation lasted almost 3 hours... but we both agreed on something important: that this entire experience has scared the living shit out of Donald Trump. This ongoing debacle in Washington has almost certainly been an educational experience for Trump... yes, even an idiot like him can learn new things. So I think we can expect that in the future, Donald Trump is going to be on a short leash. For example, I don't think we will EVER see another disgusting situation like we've had in his dealings with refugees and their children at the southern border. And I also expect Trump to begin, at least publicly, to distance himself a bit from Putin. And many other lessons.

In short, I think Trump came charging into the White House with the expectation that he would run it the same way that he runs a big business... and what he is quickly finding out is that Washington is not merely the studio for another episode of The Apprentice. He doesn't get to do whatever he wants. He can't simply fire everybody who annoys him. He can't just waltz down the hallways of the White House, crotch grabbing every cute female employee that he sees. He can't lie his face off every day and expect to keep getting away with it. I could easily go on, but I think we all know what Trump's major failings are.

So that is my expectation: that even if we're saddled with Trump for another 6 years, his days of behaving like a thuggish megalomaniac are rapidly coming to a close. I realize, of course, that many of you will have a different take on it and I wouldn't blame you if you disagreed.

[beetle]

But would the Republican party even back him for a second term?

[Tessera]

[Tessera]

And now, here is my commentary on the Brett Kavanaugh fiasco...




The sole eyewitness to the crime... Mark Judge... has been DELIBERATELY hidden away by the Republicans. So forget about all of the other facts for a moment... because this is the most damning fact of them all. People who are innocent do not go to the trouble of hiding witnesses... GUILTY people and ONLY GUILTY PEOPLE go the trouble to hide witnesses. Therefore, I think we can deduce that hiding Mark Judge is effectively an admission of Kavanaugh's guilt. There is no other rational conclusion, in my view.

[Tessera]

[beetle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kurKyCAhhmQ

[Tessera]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kurKyCAhhmQ

LOL... good one. 

Did any of you see the SNL opening the other night..? Matt Damon did a great job as Kavanaugh and the entire skit was hilarious.
Mainly because it really wasn't all that much of a parody... it was pretty close to the bone.

[Cylnar]

Yeah, that was pretty good.

The "80s Party" skit was pretty dead-on too.

Not that any of this shit matters. Kavanaugh has the votes. Of the four senators who were on the fence before the FBI's rushed farce of an investigation, three of them (Republicans Jeff Flake and Susan Collins and fake DEMOCRAT Joe Manchin) have declared they will vote yes on the confirmation. Only Republican Lisa Murkowski had the guts to stand up to Bitch McTurtle and the Repigfucker whips. Of course the proof is in the pudding; the confirmation vote will likely be held tomorrow and there is always the (very) slight possibility one of them could change their minds. But it's likely Trump will have Kavanaugh sworn in and sitting on the bench by Tuesday, only a week behind schedule.

We can only hope that this process fires up enough people on the left that they will get out and vote these pigs out of office. But my lack of faith in the American people has been upheld time and again. We can also hope that Kavanaugh's rulings will effectively have an asterisk next to them, and when he retires in 20 or 30 years a bunch of those 5-4 decisions can be reviewed and overturned by a new Court. Or the next Democratic president can add two more justices to the court, giving us a 6-5 majority (there is no Constitutional limit to the size of the court and while it always seems eventually to revert to a default of nine justices, there have been more before. Certainly these are extraordinary times and it may be time to buck precedent to salvage what little remains of American democracy.

[Tessera]

We can only hope that this process fires up enough people on the left that they will get out and vote these pigs out of office. But my lack of faith in the American people has been upheld time and again.

I hear you.

I think the problem in most of these situations is that the public has a ridiculously short memory. Everybody is up in arms about something TODAY... but a few months from now, nobody gives a shit about it anymore and they go back to doing business-as-usual. Hence the letdowns that you and I have experienced so many times over the years. I can't tell you how pissed off I was when Kerry lost in 2004.

This current situation has the virtue of taking place a mere four weeks before a major nationwide election. And when you look at the anger of American women right now... I doubt they're going to forget about THIS travesty for quite some time. Certainly, they will still be feeling it in a few more weeks, so I think it's a good bet that THIS time around, we're going to see the wrath of 200 million scorned women being displayed on November 6th. I can even imagine that a lot of Republican women will keep their mouths shut right up until they walk over to the voting machine and then... in a last minute act of defiance... they'll mutter "Fuck you, GOP" under their breaths and then push the blue button to vote Democratic. And then they'll smile to themselves and go back home.

If I'm right, then you won't see this showing up on any polls... those fine ladies will pretend to be good little Republican girls right up until election day. But I know women... and I know how this sort of thing stews about inside their lovely little heads for WEEKS sometimes before they finally react to it outwardly. Another thing that I know about women is that -- above nearly any other consideration -- women need to feel SAFE in their lives. And they expect us men to help them feel SAFER. Honestly, I think the only female drive that is stronger than the need to feel safe is their maternal instinct. Well, what the Republicans have just done... by installing a possible serial rapist who is anti-abortion onto the Supreme Court... is that they have made 200 million American women feel LESS SAFE.

Oh man... that is a REALLY big no-no, guys. This is MAJOR and any woman will tell you so. But you know how most women are. They'll bite their lips for right now, they'll think "Well, the men have done it to us again," and they'll try to just eat it and shrug it off. But deep inside, this "I feel less safe because of these old white men" crap is going to fester and roll around in their minds for days and weeks and months. Eventually, it's going to boil to the surface and manifest itself as an extreme anger and hatred of Trump, of Kavanaugh, of Republicans, and possibly of older white male politicians in general. OUCH. And this is primal, guys... it's not something that you will ever talk women out of feeling. It's an instinctive fear that is coming straight from their female human DNA.

So where might all of this lead..? Here comes another of Tessera's famous predictions...

Twenty years from now, there won't be any such thing as the Republican party anymore and MOST of the members of Congress will probably be women. THAT is what the GOP has done to itself with Trump and Kavanaugh. I've spent the past several decades watching the Republicans shoot themselves in the foot... but this time, they've shot themselves in the face.

[Cylnar]

I hope you're right. This nation and the planet in general needs to make a SHARP left turn and start dealing with the damage decades of rightward drift and right-wing misrule have done to our societies, our psyches and our planet.

But we shall see what happens a month from now...